A police car pulls up in front of grandma’s house and grandpa gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park and couldn’t find his way home.
Grandma looked at her husband and said, “You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years! How could you get lost?”
Leaning close to Grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear, Grandpa whispered, “I wasn’t lost. I was just too tired to walk home.”
In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns. One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says: “So how is your strange business going?”
“What do you mean strange?”
“Because you sell only trumpets and guns!”
“Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most, trumpets or guns?”
“It evens itself out, each time a customer buys a trumpet, one of his neighbors buys a gun!”
“Behind The Wheel”
As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck’s path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped.
I rushed to the woman’s side to see if she was all right.
“I’m fine,” she assured me, “but I hate to think what could have happened to me if that dog hadn’t honked!”