CORPORATE LESSON # 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over
which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up,
quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 just to drop
that towel that you have on". After thinking for a moment, the woman
drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a close look
at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up
in the towel and goes upstairs.
When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower
"Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?"
MORAL OF THE STORY: Share critical credit information with your
stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!
CORPORATE LESSON # 2
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he
stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in
and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely
leg.
The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling
the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him
and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" The priest was
flustered and apologised profusely. He forced himself to remove his
hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.
Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg
again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once
again the priest apologised. "Sorry sister, but the mind is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance
and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed
to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and
seek; further up, you will find glory."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great opportunities!
CORPORATE LESSON # 3
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO
standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important
document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
Certainly, Sir" said the young executive. He turned the machine on,
inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent,
excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.
"I just need one copy."
MORAL OF THE STORY: Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.
CORPORATE LESSON # 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a
French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the
bottle, a genie appears.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said,
"Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish.
When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the
pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French
wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE".
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so
happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn,
he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool
of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He
was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was
running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He
slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!………"
MORAL OF THE STORY: Mind your language, you never know what it will land you in.
CORPORATE LESSON #5
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to
a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder
lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says,
"Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will
allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the
first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas on a fast boat and have no
worries". Pfufffff, and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be
in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails".
Pfufffff, and he was also gone. The boss calmly said, "I want these
two idiots back in the office after lunch".
MORAL OF THE STORY : Always allow the boss to speak first.
CORPORATE LESSON #6
A little mouse living on a farm was looking through a crack in the
wall one day and saw the farmer and his wife opening a package. The
mouse was intrigued by what food the package may contain. He was
aghast to discover that it was a mouse trap. The mouse ran to the
farmyard warning everyone "There is a mouse trap in the house, there
is a mouse trap in the house."
The chicken raised his head and said "Mr. Mouse, I can tell you this
trap is a grave concern to you, but it has no consequence to me and I
cannot be bothered with it." The mouse turned to the pig "I am so very
sorry Mr. Mouse, but the trap is no concern of mine either."
The mouse then turned to the bull, "Sounds like you have a problem Mr.
Mouse, but not one that concerns me."
The mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected that no one
would help him or was concerned about his dilemma. He knew he had to
face the trap on his own.
That night the sound of a trap catching its prey was heard throughout
the house. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the
darkness she could not see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the
trap had caught.
The snake bit the farmer's wife. The wife caught a bad fever and the
farmer knew the best way to treat a fever was with chicken soup. The
farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard to get the soup's main
ingredient.
The wife got sicker and friends and neighbors came by to take turns
sitting with her round the clock. The farmer knew he had to feed them,
so he butchered the pig. The farmer wife did not get better, in fact
she died and so many friends and family came to her funeral that the
farmer had to slaughter the bull to feed all of them.
MORAL OF THE STORY: The next time we hear that one of our teammates is
facing a problem and think it does not concern or effect us, let us
remember that when anyone of us is in trouble, we are all at risk.
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