1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you.
3) Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachie."
4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as often since you did this.
6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive. Call everyone Madge.
7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee, a printout, or whatever, slap yourself at random the whole way.
8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask him or her if they want fries with that.
10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself, engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN".
13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
14) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza, donuts, or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
15) Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
The restaurant's decoration are tables maded out of converted sinks and bathtubs. Real shower nozzles and shower curtains hang overhead. Most importantly, there are actual toilets, bidets, urinals, and Oriental "squatters" (which pretty closely resemble hospital bedpans) everywhere. They are the seats you sit on. They are the wall decorations you look at. Sitting in the toilet while eating might be a new experience for all of you food fanatics.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?"). "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
B. Never reveal the name of the school you attend.
C. Stay out of adult chat rooms.
D. Never order anything online without a parent or guardians permission.
E. Never fill out an online form without a parent or guardians permission.
F. Always let a parent or guardian check a website for adult content before going there yourself.
G. Always tell a parent or guardian if you feel you've been approached by a person in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable.
H. Never, ever agree to an in person meeting with someone you've met online without a parent or guardian going with you.
I. Never send your photograph through email.
J. Never open an attachment to an email before your parent or guardian has a chance to check it first.
K. People aren't always who they appear to be. Someone may claim to be your friend when, in reality, they're trying to lure you in to doing something you may later regret.
L. Report anything you feel is suspicious to your parent or guardian. Let them determine if it should be reported to the authorities.
M. Just because you've been told your online friend is the same age as you doesn't make it so. There are adults out there who will tell you anything to gain your confidence.
N. While online it's always a good idea to use a nickname rather than your real name.
O. Never give your email address to anyone without getting permission from your parent or guardian first.
P. Never agree to go to a chat room where there's no live monitoring by a responsible adult.
Q. Never give your Internet password to anyone except your parent or guardian. Not even your best friend.
R. Never fill out a profile giving your personal information.
S. Never masquerade under the name of a friend or someone you know; that could endanger the welfare of the person to whom the information actually belongs.
T. Never place your photo or personal information on a web site.
U. If someone asks you for personal information, refuse to give it and let your parent or guardian know immediately.
V. If you accidently stumble on to a questionable web site, let your parent or guardian know so it can be reported to the proper authorities.
W. Follow the guidelines your parent or guardian has set for you. Remember, they've set these guidelines because they care.
X. Encourage your parent or guardian to use blocking software to make surfing the web safer for you.
Y. Trust your instincts. If it feels wrong then it probably is.
Z. Never allow the Internet to dominate your life. Nothing is more important than your 'real life'.
Japan is full of crazy stuffs. Meet Decotti from Takara Tomy, tool to make artificial candy jewelry. It looks like candy, cookies, fruits, but it's not. And you get to decorate your phone, key chains, or what so ever with it. Pretty neat right? Even adult women loves it.
I'm guessing if you're good at this game then you'll do fabulous in cake decorating ;)
"I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"
"Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to
get that stuff off the ceiling?"
"All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of
there and show me."
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
"Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
"I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a
better grade than you."
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER:
"The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"
PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER:
"But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? OY! Styling gel, mousse, something...?"
For every special mom who is so beloved and specail for her kids
You should be very happy to have an artisan mother, for you can afford to be a carefree child and do as your heart tells you. An artisan mother would not be very strict and not much of a disciplinarian. You will learn from her to deviate from the usual norms.
Artisan mothers are playful, daring and also sensual. Artisan mothers love adventures. They look for fun and enjoyment in the small acts of life. Typically, they are unconventional and spontaneous. These free-spirited mothers are emotional and impulsive by nature. You have an advantage with artisan mothers; and that is such mothers are more-often-than-not generous to faults. You can possibly have your way by touching the emotional strings attached to their hearts. They are usually very daring and are least afraid of the risks in life.
If you refer to celebrity mothers to have a clear understanding of the personality of an artisan mother you can always take the example of Madonna who is a very famous artisan mother. Now can you recognize your artisan mother?
Guardian mothers have a supreme sense of responsibility, which make them a dependent and responsible mom. But this quality also makes them known to be difficult mothers.
Guardian mothers are very law-abiding. You can trust your guardian mother with any kind of secret, as they are very trustworthy and loyal. They are traditional in their thoughts and ways as they value their custom a lot. Their strong sense of right and wrong adds to making them difficult to deal with. But at the same time being raised up by such a mom will mean that you grow up to be a perfect individual. Such a mom will make a perfectionist out of you and will definitely bring out the best in you.
Queen Victoria is a famous example of a guardian mother.
Every child will be proud to possess an idealist mother. There are three basic qualities that rule the heart of a mom with ideals; and these three qualities make these mothers romantic, intuitive and enthusiastic. By nature they make very nurturing, doting and kind hearted mothers. If you know that your mother exactly fits into the category of an idealist mother, the knowledge will help you to deal with your mom better.
If you have an idealist mother you have to pay much more importance to your personal growth and development because they are passionate about the personal growth and development of a person. They brim with enthusiasm and let their enthusiasm infect others around her. The romanticism in their nature does not allow them to be practical in the ways of life.
Among the idealist mothers we have the famous personality of Audrey Hepburn. You can take queues about your own idealist mom by going through the character traits of this famous personality.
A rational mother would be naturally very logical in their thoughts and actions. They would be absolutely even-tempered and of a fiercely independent nature. Their minds are constantly busy trying to understand how this world works.
Their apparent lack of emotion can be very easily mistaken for coldness but we must try and understand that deep down they are always busy in finding out a solution for making this world a better place for you to live in. They are very determined by nature and absolutely dedicated to the project in hand. Rational mothers will definitely make very balanced mothers.
Margaret Thatcher is a very well known personality among the rational mothers.
- Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
- Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
- Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
- They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.
- A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
- Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
- Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
- You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.
- True friends stab you in the front.
- Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
- Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
- Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
- My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
- Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
- Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
- It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
- They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
- Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
- Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
- Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
- Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions.
- Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient!
- Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.
- Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite.
- The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle.
- To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe.
- Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp.
- Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.
- It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979.
- Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plants watered with cold water.
- Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
- Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.
- Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.
- Our eyes (Pupils) are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
- Everyone's tongue print is different, like fingerprints.
- Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn't stay in the gut. It will pass through the system and be excreted.
- At 40 Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is rebuilt every year.
- Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk right foot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right foot, left foot .
- Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.
- The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.
- Every year in the UK we feed our livestock enough food to feed 250,000,000 people while in the world 30,000,000 people die of starvation
- 20 vegetarians can live off the land required by one meat eater
- Every 3 seconds a child dies of starvation somewhere in the world
- If Americans reduced their meat consumption by 10% it would free 12,000,000 tons of grain - enough to feed 60,000,000 people (the population of Great Britain)
- If all Americans became vegetarian, it would free enough grain to feed 600,000,000 people (the population of India)
- Intensification in animal farming has displaced 1,000,000's of people from their traditional lands - eg. indigenous people in south & central america, native americans in north america & crofters in Great Britain - this is continuing today
- People displaced from their lands into cities succumb to dietary deficiency, diseases, parasites & opportunistic diseases
- In third world countries 1 in 10 babies die before their first birthday
- The UK imports ?46,000,000 worth of grain from third world countries to feed our livestock
- Due to overgrazing 850,000,000 people live on land threatened by desertification & over 230,000,000 already live on land so severely desertified that they are unable to sustain their existence & face imminent starvation
- 1,000,000,000 people in the west gorging on meat & dairy leave 1,000,000,000 to waste away & 3,500,000,000 teeter on the brink
- If they continue to clear American forests to raise cattle at the present rate, in 50 years there will be none left
- 1 acre yields 165 lbs of beef or 20,000 lbs of potatoes
- 8/10 of cultivated land in the UK is used to grow food for animals (14,732,000 hectares)
- It takes 16lbs of high protein soya to produce 1 lb of beef
- Since 1945 in the UK we have lost 95% of flower meadows, 50% of ancient woodlands, 40% of heathlands, 50% of wet lands & 224,000 km of hedgerows all due to animal farming
- Pressure on land due to meat farming leads to soil erosion 6billion tons/year in the USA
- If everyone went vegetarian upto 90% of land used for animal farming could be taken out of production & used to replant woodlands, leisure activities etc.
- 25% of Central america's forests have been destroyed for cattle grazing since 1960
- Between 1966-1983 38% of the Amazon rain forest was destroyed for cattle grazing
- 90% of cattle ranches established on cleared forest land go bankrupt in less than 8 years as the land becomes barren due to nutrient loss & overgrazing
- Overgrazing by cattle is destroying the land & increasing desertification, nearly 430 million acres in the USA alone has suffered a 25-50% reduction in yield since first grazed
- An inch of topsoil takes 200-1000 years to develop - yet in the USA they have lost around 1/3 of their prime topsoil in 200 years (around 7 inches) due to animal farming
- Land will be lost due to rises in sea level due to global warming due to animal farming
- The destruction of the rainforest by cattle farmers is destroying the lungs of the planet & reducing the worlds capacity to replenish our oxygen supply
- The 1,300,000,000 cattle in the world emit 60,000,000 tons of methane per year (methane is a greenhouse gas & leads to global warming)
- Burning of forests, grasslands & agricultural waste associated with animal farming releases 50-100,000,000 tons of methane per year
- Combining these figures, 25% of methane emissions are due to animal farming (not including the billions of sheep, pigs & poultry so the real figure is much higher)
- Fertilizer used to grow crops to feed to animals releases nitrous oxide - thought to account for 6% of the greenhouse effect
- Fertilizer, weedkiller & pesticides sprayed on crops enter the atmosphere creating a noxious carcinogenic cocktail
- CFCs are released into the air from refrigeration units used to store decomposing flesh (meat), milk & butter - CFCs are destroy the ozone layer
- Ammonia from animal urine also pollutes the atmosphere
- CO2 is released by burning oil & petrol in lorries, ships, abattoirs, dairies, factories etc. associated with meat & dairy production
- Emissions from large chemical plants which produce fertilizer, weedkiller & other agricultural chemicals are also poisoning our air
- 25 gallons of water to produce 1lb of wheat & 2500 gallons to produce 1lb of meat
- UK farm animals produce 200,000,000 tonnes of slurry (liquid excrement) every year, the majority of which ends up in our rivers
- Bloody waste water from abattoirs ends up in our rivers
- In the USA every second humans produce 12,000 lbs of effluent while farmed animals produce 250,000 lbs
- Nitrates & pesticides used on crops grown to feed livestock end up in our rivers
- Meat & dairy farming uses 70 litres of water per day per animal in the UK or 159,250,000, 000 litres per year in total
- The water used to produce 10 lbs of steak is equivalent to the average consumption of water for an entire household for an entire year
- Depletion of groundwater reserves to grow crops for animals & to supply abattoirs will lead to greater water shortages
- Aquafers (stores of underground water) in the San Joaquin valley in the USA are being drained at the rate of 500,000,000, 000 gallons/year to produce meat
- 18% of all agricultural land in the world is irrigated & as global warming increases (partly due to animal farming) it will cost $200,000,000 to keep these systems going
- The water used to produce a 1000 lb beef steer is enough to float a Destroyer battleship
- The liquid waste from the various parts of the meat & dairy industry flow into the rivers & from there into the seas polluting them & encouraging huge algal blooms to grow
- To produce 1calorie of energy from meat takes 60 calories of petrol, whereas growing grains & legumes to directly feed people produces 20 calories for each calorie of fuel used ( thats 1200 times more efficient)
- Meat & dairy farming uses billions of gallons of oil to run tractors, fuel ships & lorries (to move animal feed & animals), pump billions of gallons of water to irrigate fields & run slaughterhouses, power refrigeration units to prevent the corpses from decomposing & to power sewage plants to clean up some of the pollution produced
- Cattle convert only 6% of their energy intake (mainly grains & soya) into flesh, the remaining 94% is wasted as heat, movement (which is why they keep many animals in very close confinement) , hair, bones, faeces etc
- 1lb of beef takes 1 gallon of petrol to produce
- A family of four eating beef for a year uses enough petrol to run a car for 6 months (obviously depending on how far you drive!)
- If the full ecological cost of meat was passed onto the consumer - the price would be quadrupled (at least)
- The EC spends ?100,000,000' s to subsidise animal production resulting in lakes of unwanted milk & mountains of unwanted meat & butter. This money could be better spent encouraging organic fruit, vegetable & grain production
- In the USA in 1979 145,000,000 tons of crops were fed to cattle resulting in only 21million tons of animal bodies - the cost of the wasted crops was $20,000,000, 000
- Between 1950 & 1985 grain production in Europe & the USA increased massively but 2/3 was fed to animals
- 70% of all grain is fed to animals
- Eating vast quantities of animal flesh, eggs, milk & butter is a luxury that most of the planet can not afford
- Fishing with drift (and other modern) nets weakens & destroys ecosystems by indiscriminately killing billions of sea creatures & disrupting the sea bed
- Fishermen's nets kill 10 times as many other animals as the fish they are hoping to catch
- Fish caught in nets die an agonising slow death of suffocation
- Each year 15,000,000,000 land animals are slaughtered for food & an unknown but much larger number of sea creatures (including 1000's of dolphins caught accidentally)
- Chickens are crammed into battery cages with upto 3 other birds, they are unable to even spread their wings & many can not even stand up
- Unwanted male chicks (because they can't lay eggs) are gassed or pulped while their sisters go to the battery sheds
- Chicks are debeaked without anaesthetic to prevent them injuring each other in the unnaturally confined conditions they are kept in - this is equivalent to having your fingernails pulled out without anaesthetic
- Modern farming methods using growth hormones & artificial lighting mean that many chickens out grow their bones, resulting in fractured & broken legs
- Sows are kept tethered in stalls 1.3 x 1 metre on concrete or slatted floors - they can not even turn around
- Poultry raised for meat are kept in windowless broiler sheds, with around 20-30,000 in each shed, they live in an area of 10-20 cm square - fighting due to overcrowding is common & like battery hens they commonly suffer from supperating bed sores
- Broilersheds are artificially lit 23 hours a day to produce rapid growth
- Animals travel between farms & to slaughter in overcrowded transporters with no food or water - resulting in stress, injuries & deaths - legal requirements are widely ignored
- 95% of poultry suffer injuries before being killed & 30% suffer broken bones
- Problems with stunning practices mean that many animals have their throats slit while still conscious (around 6% of cattle or 200,000 per year) & are then dipped in tanks of scalding water (to loosen feathers, bristles etc.) again while fully conscious
- 4000 animals die spurting their blood out every minute in a British slaughterhouse
- Calf leather comes from animals killed at just 2 weeks old
- Cows were fed on the ground up remains of other cows & sheep - the result is thought to be BSE (mad cow disease) in the USA cattle are fed partly on recycled plastic pellets
- Cows only give milk for 10 months after they have a calf - so they are routinely artificially inseminated (ie. mechanically raped) to keep them pregnant & milking - their calves are taken away (usually at 12 hours old) for meat or export to veal crates
- Cows would naturally live upto 20 years but are slaughtered after 5-7 years when their milk production begins to fall
- In the UK animals are killed by first being stunned with electricity or a captive bolt gun (ie. a bolt is fired into their heads) before having their throats slit & being plunged into boiling water - all this happens on a production line with the animals being hung upside down from a moving conveyor belt - this is factory farming
- "Animals are those unfortunate slaves & victims of the most brutal part of mankind" - John Stewart Mill (philosopher)
- Veal calves are confined in stalls in the dark, unable to move & are fed on pigs blood , chocolate & dried milk (we are drinking the rich fresh milk of their mothers)
- Cows naturally produce 5 litres of milk per day for their calves - under the intensified systems of modern farming they produce 25-40 litres per day - resulting in swollen & inflamed udders - at this rate they are soon worn out
- Large areas of land are under monoculture to grow crops to feed to animals - these areas are wildlife deserts supporting fewer & fewer species.
- Vegetarians have a 20% lower rate of mortality from all causes (ie. they live longer & don't get sick as often)
- Meat is full of traces of antibiotics, hormones, toxins produced by stress & pesticide residues that become concentrated from all the crops they have eaten
- Fish contain heavy metals & other pollutants -many of which originated on farms
- The world health organisation recommends a diet low in saturated fat, sugar, salt & with plenty of fibre - exactly what you get on a vegan/vegetarian diet
- Farmed animals contain upto 50% saturated fat in their bodies
- Vegetarians have 24% reduced risk of getting heart disease & Vegans a 57% reduction (heart disease is the biggest killer in the UK accounting for 50% of deaths)
- Obesity is rare in vegetarians, obesity is related to many diseases
- Vegans & vegetarians have lower blood pressure & cholesterol levels - high levels are associated with heart disease, strokes & kidney failure
- Vegetarians have a 50% reduced risk of dying of diabetes
- Vegetarians have a 40% reduced level of cancer than the general population thought to be because they have a higher intake of vitamins A,C & E
- Vegetarians have a reduced risk of developing gall & kidney stones
- 80% of food poisoning is due to infected meat (faeces, bacteria etc.) after all meat is decomposing flesh - most of the rest is due to salmonella in eggs
- Osteoporosis due to calcium loss from bones is mainly due to the sulphur content in meat & casein protein in milk that cause calcium to be lost in the urine - the countries with the highest meat & dairy consumption are those with the highest levels of brittle bones
- 50% of people do not have the enzyme to digest milk properly & milk allergy is related to asthma & eczema
- Meat eaters have double the rate of Alzheimers disease as Vegans & Vegetarians - some people also think that Parkinsons disease is also linked to meat eating
- Egg yolk is a dense concentration of saturated fat & the white is high in albumin protein associated with leaching calcium into your urine. Butter is 80% saturated fat, cream is 40% saturated fat & cheese is 25-40% saturated fat
- Meat eaters are two and a half times more likely to get bowel cancer than Vegetarians
- The cling film used to wrap meat in supermarkets & butchers contains chemicals linked to falling sperm counts in men
- Chinese people (living mainly on a vegetarian diet) consume 20% more calories than Americans but Americans are 20% fatter
- Of 2,100,000 deaths in the USA in 1987, 1,500,000 were related to diet (ie. meat & dairy)
AND ONE COULD GO ON !
If you've read this far, I hope that you are beginning to see that the Meat & Dairy industry is a major contributor to misery on this planet. It is destroying the health of people in rich countries, starving those in poor countries, it is torturing & killing billions of animals every year and in the meantime it is one of the major factors in the destruction of the environment - so what does the meat & dairy industry have to say in it's defence?
Well their only real point is usually "Meat is tasty" - fair enough a lot of people enjoy the taste of meat - but there are plenty of delicious alternatives (just consider the huge range of vegetarian dishes in Indian cooking - one of the oldest & most sophisticated cuisines in the world) and if you really crave meat & dairy, nowadays there are plenty of healthy non animal alternatives - just look in the supermarket & health food shop. So I hope you will agree it's pretty pathetic to consider all the evidence & then say "well I know you're right about the environment & health & the animals - but I just love my meat"