Funny Poems

I wrote your name on sand, it got washed
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away, then
I wrote your name on my heart and I got heart attack :-)


God saw me hungry, he created pizza
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi
He saw me in dark, he created light
He saw me without problems, he created YOU :-)

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far :-)

The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too
If rain makes all things beautiful, why doesn't it rain on you? :-)

Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo :-)
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you :-)

When your life is in the darkness,
Pray to God ask him to free u from darkness
And if after you pray and you are still in darkness,
Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!

Funny Poems =)

I wrote your name on sand, it got washed
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away, then
I wrote your name on my heart and I got heart attack.

God saw me hungry, He created pizza
He saw me thirsty, He created Pepsi
He saw me in the dark, He created light
He saw me without problems, He created YOU.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

The rain makes all things beautiful,
The grass and flowers too
If rain makes all things beautiful,
Why doesn't it rain on you?

Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you,

When your life is in the darkness,
Pray to God ask Him to free you from the darkness,
And if after you pray and you are still in the
darkness,
Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!!!

technorati tags: poems, joke, humor, funny, jokes

Life Is a Gift

Before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.

Today before you think of saying an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children, but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who have lost their homes.

Before whining about the distance you drive -
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your Face and thank God you're alive and still around.
RELISH THE MOMENT, IT MAY NOT COME AROUND AGAIN!

technorati tags: life, quotes, quote, poems,

Rhyming Couplets

A local newspaper (in England) ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line.
Here are some of the entries they received.


My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"


Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.


Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face


Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not


I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face


I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!


I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming


My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

10 little Gigabytes

Ten little gigabytes,
waiting on line
one caught a virus,
then there were nine.

Nine little gigabytes,
holding just the date,
someone jammed a write protect,
then there were eight.

Eight little gigabytes,
should have been eleven,
then they cut the budget,

now there are seven.

Seven little gigabytes,
involved in mathematics
stored an even larger prime,
now there are six.

Six little gigabytes,
working like a hive,
one died of overwork,
now there are five.

Five little gigabytes,
trying to add more
plugged in the wrong lead,
now there are four.

Four little gigabytes,
failing frequently,
one used for spare parts,
now there are three.

Three little gigabytes,
have too much to do
service man on holiday,
now there are two.

Two little gigabytes,
badly overrun,
took the work elsewhere,
now just need one.

One little gigabyte,
system's far too small
shut the whole thing down,
now there's none at all.

God's Alphabet

lthough things are not perfect,
ecause of trial or pain,
ontinue in thanksgiving,
o not begin to blame.
ven when the times are hard,
ierce winds are bound to blow,

od is forever able,
old on to what you know.
magine life without His love,
oy would cease to be.
eep thanking Him for all the things,
ove imparts to thee.
ove out of "Camp Complaining,"
o weapon that is known,
n earth can yield the power,
raise can do alone.
uit looking at the future,
edeem the time at hand.
tart every day with worship,
o "thank" is a command.
ntil we see Him coming,
V ictorious in the sky,
e'll run the race with gratitude,
alting God most high.
es, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad but,
ion waits in glory, where none are ever sad! "

I AM Too Blessed to be Stressed!"

The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.

The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.

Love and peace be wih you forever,
Amen.

PS: GOD LOVES YOU.

A Woman

So much is said in these few words....Beautiful!

"A Woman"

This is written in the Hebrew Talmud, the book where all of the sayings and preaching of
Rabbis are conserved over time. It says: "Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved." Pass this on to all exceptional women that you know..
and to men so they know the value of a woman.

O... Mother

When Mother prayed, she found sweet rest,
When Mother prayed, her soul was blest;
Her heart and mind on Christ were stayed,
And God was there when Mother prayed!

Our thanks, O God, for mothers
Who show, by word and deed,
Commitment to Thy will and plan
And Thy commandments heed.

A thousand men may build a city,
but it takes a mother to make a home.

With Love

Sweet words are easy to say,
Sweet things are easy 2 buy,
But sweet people are difficult to find.
Life ends when U stop dreaming,
Hope ends when U stop believing,
Love ends when U stop caring,
Friendship ends when U stop sharing.
So share this with whom ever U consider a friend.

To love without condition,
To talk without intention,
To give without reason,
And to care without expectation
is the heart of a truefriend...
Forward this to all the people whom U consider as your true friend.
Dont forget to send
it back to ME .....
If U Care........

Poems written by husband to wife

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. then
I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.

If rain makes all things beautiful
why doesn't it rain on you?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Roses are red, Violets are blue
monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
not in cage but laughing at you.

Good Night, God...

At the end of the day,
let me not dwell on my failures
or recount my disappointments.
Let my heart not be heavy over the day's frustrations,
the cold voices, and minor vexations.
Remind me that there's so much more to life than worry,
pain and trivial strife.


Let me not be blind to each tiny pleasure.
Remind me that each little blessing is something to treasure.
Let me hear children's laughter, the voice of a dear friend;
and let the warm memories revive me... when a long day ends.
And wrap me tight in your arms, once my worries depart;
never let me forget your love, lest I forget my heart.

I Miss You

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world,
which I find myself constantly walking around in the
daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like
hell. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but
somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in
heart. ~Kay Knudsen

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world
seems depopulated. ~Lamartine

All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee to me.
~William Shakespeare, "Sonnet XLIII"

Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you
want to be with someone you love, aren't you already
there? ~Richard Bach

How like a winter hath my absence been
From thee, the pleasure of the fleeting year!
What freezings have I felt, what dark days seen!
What old December's bareness everywhere!
~William Shakespeare, "Sonnet XCVII"

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have
friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and
longitudes. ~Henry David Thoreau

If I had a single flower for every time I think about
you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Attributed
to Claudia Ghandi

Within you I lose myself...
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again.
~Author Unknown

Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to
know of hell. ~Emily Dickinson, "Parting"

Gone - flitted away,
Taken the stars from the night and the sun
From the day!
Gone, and a cloud in my heart.
~Alfred Tennyson

Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and
frustrates hope severer than despair. ~William Cowper

What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely
you. ~Richard Wilbur

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the
friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of
each other's worth. ~Robert Southey

Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle
Everything I do is stitched with its color.
~W.S. Merwin, "Separation"

Thou art gone from my gaze like a beautiful dream.
And I seek thee in vain by the meadow and stream.
~George Linley

Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; and
every little absence is an age. ~John Dryden

Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is
a type of heaven. ~Tryon Edwards

When I go away from you
The world beats dead
Like a slackened drum....
~Amy Lowell, "The Taxi"

Life is so short, so fast the lone hours fly,
We ought to be together, you and I.
~Author Unknown

As contraries are known by contraries, so is the
delight of presence best known by the torments of
absence. ~Alcibiades

Oft in the tranquil hour of night,
When stars illume the sky,
I gaze upon each orb of light,
And wish that thou wert by.
~George Linley

Days of absence, sad and dreary,
Clothed in sorrow's dark array, -
Days of absence, I am weary;
She I love is far away.
~Jean-Jacques Rousseau

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our
souls are connected. ~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

What shall I do with all the days and hours
That must be counted ere I see thy face?
How shall I charm the interval that lowers
Between this time and that sweet time of grace?
~Frances Anne Kemble

I keep coming back to you in my head, but you couldn't
know that, and I have no carbons. ~Adrienne Rich

I am tired, Beloved,
of chafing my heart against
the want of you;
of squeezing it into little inkdrops,
And posting it.
~Amy Lowell, "The Letter"

I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is
the day I will stop missing you. ~Author Unknown

To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live,
there, there is the torment. ~George Lansdowne

In the hope to meet
Shortly again, and make our absence sweet.
~Ben Jonson

The joy of meeting pays the pangs of absence; else who
could bear it? ~Nicholas Rowe

Why can't we get all the people together in the world
that we really like and then just stay together? I
guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave.
Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say
good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I
need more hellos. ~Charles M. Schulz

Where'er I roam, whatever realms to see,
My heart untravelled, fondly turns to thee;
Still to my brother turns, with ceaseless pain,
And drags at each remove a lengthening chain.
~Oliver Goldsmith, The Traveller

Missing someone gets easier every day because even
though it's one day further from the last time you saw
each other, it's one day closer to the next time you
will. ~Author Unknown

We only part to meet again. ~John Gay

She went her unremembering way,
She went and left in me
The pang of all the partings gone,
And partings yet to be.
~Francis Thompson

One kind kiss before we part,
Drop a tear, and bid adieu;
Though we sever, my fond heart
Till we meet shall pant for you.
~Robert Dodsley

As the presence of those we love is as a double life,
so absence, in its anxious longing and sense of
vacancy, is as a foretaste of death. ~Anna Brownell
Jameson

Ye flowers that drop, forsaken by the spring,
Ye birds that, left by summer, cease to sing,
Ye trees that fade, when Autumn heats remove,
Say, is not absence death to those who love?
~Alexander Pope

A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to
say hello again. ~Author Unknown

Don't be dismayed by good-byes. A farewell is
necessary before you can meet again. And meeting
again after moments or a lifetime is certain for those
who are friends. ~Richard Bach

Ever absent, ever near;
Still I see thee, still I hear;
Yet I cannot reach thee, dear!
~Francis Kazinczy

Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I
knew you were missing me too. ~Author Unknown

Absence diminishes little passions and increases great
ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans a
fire. ~Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld, translated
from French

The eternal quest of the individual human being is to
shatter his loneliness. ~Norman Cousins

It is loneliness that makes the loudest noise. This
is true of men as of dogs. ~Eric Hoffer

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.
If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together
all night. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

Love

Learn to love the people who are with you at present.
Forget the people in the past and thank
them for hurting you, which led you to love the
people you have right now.

When you love someone, you'll do crazy things you
can't explain, you'll deny the truth and believe in lies.
When you love someone, you sacrifice,
give everything you've got and don't think twice.
You risk it all no matter what.

Everything in life is temporary because everything changes.
That is why it takes courage to love,
knowing it might end anytime...having faith will make it last.

Friends are not the one who laugh when you laugh
and cry when you cry. They are the ones who
make you laugh and stop you from crying.
Love is the feeling we fall in and out of, and
every time we fall off, we learn to hold on
tighter...hoping that next time, we may never have to let go.

They say when love knocks at your door, open it.
But do you know that sometimes love enters
through the back door and before you begin to
notice it, it's on it's way out.

Have you ever loved only to let it go?..
Have you ever hated someone and loved him so?..
Have you ever missed someone so bad it made you cry?..
Have you ever seen someone left alone
without knowing why? ..

True: Lucky is the man who wins the first love of a
woman but luckier is the woman who wins the last
love of a man.

Love is not the right word to say when you feel
guilty nor the right word to say when you like a
person but love really matters when we share our
thoughts, our minds, and our hearts...

Life has a way of changing things but not the joy
that friendship brings, for friendship is like the
shining moon, makes each night a brighter one.

Love is not for beauty or color of the skin, but for a
heart that is loyal within, for beauty fades and the
skin would grow old but a heart that is loyal will never turn cold.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your
heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn
about trust and the importance of being cautious
to whom you open your heart.

A love is easy to feel, so hard to explain; so easy
to get, so hard to let go; so easy to spell, so hard
to define...and yet everyone is still taking the risk.
That's love !

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird,
and when we find someone whose weirdness is
compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall
in love in mutual weirdness and call it LOVE!

Never be afraid to fall in love. It may hurt a lot, it
may give you aches and pain, but if you don't
follow your heart; in the end you will cry even more
for not giving love a chance.

Don't run ahead of God. Let Him direct your steps.
He has plans and He has His time. God's clock is
never one minute early nor one minute late. It
always strikes right on time.

If someone loves you, love them back not only
because they love you, but also because they are
teaching you to love and opening your heart and
eyes to things you have never seen or felt without them.

The past is meant to be used as a tool for the
future. Bad experiences indeed make you bitter
but the lessons learned should make you better.

On letting go: it hurts to see someone you love
happy with somebody else; but wouldn't it hurt you
more to see that person unhappy...with you?

When you find arms that will hold you at your
weakest, eyes that will see you at your ugliest, lips
that will kiss you in both instances, and a heart that
will love you at your worst, then you have found true
love.

Someday, someone might come into your life and
love you in a way you always wanted.
If your someday was yesterday.. LEARN
If your someday is tomorrow.. HOPE
If your someday is today.. CHERISH.

If Only Life Were This Easy

I would look like a Happy Duck Too

* If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete"
and start all over!

* To get your daily exercise, just click on "run";
If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.

* Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.

* To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.

* To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.

* To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.

* If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.

* When you lose your car keys, click on find.

* "Help" with the chores is just a click away.

* Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary.
You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.

* And, we could click on "SEND NOW"
and a Pizza would be on it's way!