10 Signs You Really Are Old

1. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
   
2. Turn off the lights for economical reasons, not romantic ones.
   
3. You read the obituaries to find eligible women.
   
4. Old ladies offer to help you cross the street.
   
5. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
   
6. The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
   
7. A beautiful girl walks by and nothing happens.
   
8. You have all the answers but nobody is asking you the questions.
   
9. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
   
10. All the names in your little black book end with MD (mentally deficient).

Bus Incident

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That`s the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!"
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

The Blond Flight Attendant

An airline captain was helping a new blond flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.

She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!"

"You can't get out of your room?"; the captain asked. "Why not?"

She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Cute Dogs Pre-Wedding part 3

Cute Dogs Pre-Wedding part 2

Software Development Life Cycle, SDLC, The Hard Way

This is why making a software needs sixth sense ability :))

Cute Dogs Pre-Wedding part 1

Double Talking Women

A husband shows his wife a study which indicates that on the average men use 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000.
The wife thinks about this and then tells her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. The husband turns from the paper and says, "What?"

Flying Turtle

Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

Rest Room Signs All Over The World part 6

Rest Room Signs All Over The World part 5

Rest Room Signs All Over The World part 4

Pregnant Wife

A man frantically speaks into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" The doctor asks. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

Rest Room Signs All Over The World part 3

Rest Room Signs All Over The World part 2

Rest Room Signs All Over The World part 1

Written Job Application

Two young men with equal qualifications apply for the same job. In order to determine which individual to hire, the manager gives them a written test. Both men score nine out of 10 on the test; however, the manager decides to go with the first applicant.
"Why would you do that?" asks the rejected second applicant. "We both got nine questions correct."
"Your fellow applicant wrote 'I don't know' for question five. You put down, 'Neither do I.'"

Cousin Jack Falls Apart

One friend was talking with another friend about his cousin who recently passed away. "By the time cousin Jack died he had a transplanted heart, a plastic hip joint, a plastic leg and a plastic arm."
"Where did they burry him?'"

"Duh - they didn't bury him, he was recycled!"

IT Practician' s Twin Childen

This is why IT people like reusable item... :))

Career Growth Meter Through Your Stomach

Interesting isn't it? The bigger the salary the bigger size of stomach you get :))