I . Face and accept the reality of getting old, its consequences and the limitations which growing old brings. Act and behave your age.
Quit fooling yourself by trying to look like you were in your youth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
II . Focus on enjoying people, not on indulging in or accumulating material things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
III . Plan to spend whatever you have saved. You deserve to enjoy it and the few healthy years you have left. Travel if you can afford it. Don't leave anything for your children or loved ones to quarrel about. By leaving anything, you may even cause more trouble when you Are gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IV . Live in the here and now, not in the yesterdays and tomorrows. It is only today that you can handle. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not even happen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
V . Enjoy your grandchildren (if you are blessed with any) but don't be their full time baby sitter. You have no moral obligation to take care of them.
Don't have any guilt about refusing to baby sit anyone's kids, including your own grandkids. Your parental obligation is to your children.
After you have raised them into responsible adults, your duties of child-rearing and babysitting are finished.
Let your children raise their own off-springs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VI . Accept physical weakness, sickness and other physical pains. It is a part of the aging process. Enjoy whatever your health can allow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VII . Enjoy what you are and what you have right now. Stop working hard for what you do not have. If you do not have them, it's probably too late.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VIII . Just enjoy your life with your spouse, children, grandchildren and friends. People, who truly love you, love you for yourself,
not for what you have. Anyone who loves you for what you have will just give you misery.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IX . Forgive and accept forgiveness. Forgive yourself and others. Enjoy peace of mind and peace of soul.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
X . Befriend death. It's a natural part of the life cycle. Don't be afraid of it. Death is the beginning of a new and better life. So, ......
prepare yourself not for death but for a new life.
Chinese Couple
Chinese couple gets married and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is
not experienced either, spent all his time working in his father's
restaurant.
On the wedding night, she gets naked under the sheets as her husband
undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.
"My darring" he says, "I know dis yo firss time and you berry
frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting,
juss anyting you want.. Whatchou want?" he says, trying to sound
experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for
her request. "I want to try somethin I have heard about .. numbaa 69″.
More thoughtful silence, this time from him.
Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries…
"You want…chicken wiff broccori?"
not experienced either, spent all his time working in his father's
restaurant.
On the wedding night, she gets naked under the sheets as her husband
undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.
"My darring" he says, "I know dis yo firss time and you berry
frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting,
juss anyting you want.. Whatchou want?" he says, trying to sound
experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for
her request. "I want to try somethin I have heard about .. numbaa 69″.
More thoughtful silence, this time from him.
Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries…
"You want…chicken wiff broccori?"
What Man and Woman Really Think with Their Brains
A man's brain
A woman's brain
A woman's brain
technorati tags: funny, interesting+fact, brain, man, woman, relationship
How to marry a rich guy - Fantastic reply from a financial person
Friday is the happy days, so read it on ........
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I' m going to say here.
I' m 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste.
I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I 'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high.
Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary?
Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ), $250k annual
income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I 've met a few girls who doesn 't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
Here 's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest.
Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours.
Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you 're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty " and "money " Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there ' s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can 't be prettier year after
year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset.
It ' s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a " trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term ... same goes with the marriage that you wanted.
It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or " lease" .
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you.
I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.
This has better chance than finding a rich fool. Hope this reply helps.
If you are interested in " leasing" services, do contact me signed,
J.P. Morgan
Note: JP Morgan is leading financial services firm with global scale and reach.
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I' m going to say here.
I' m 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste.
I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I 'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high.
Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary?
Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ), $250k annual
income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I 've met a few girls who doesn 't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
Here 's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest.
Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours.
Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you 're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty " and "money " Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there ' s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can 't be prettier year after
year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset.
It ' s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a " trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term ... same goes with the marriage that you wanted.
It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or " lease" .
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you.
I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.
This has better chance than finding a rich fool. Hope this reply helps.
If you are interested in " leasing" services, do contact me signed,
J.P. Morgan
Note: JP Morgan is leading financial services firm with global scale and reach.
technorati tags: joke, funny, humor, jokes
Women Do Get Man Drunk
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident. It's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle... My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man shakes his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No, I think I'll just wait for the police...."
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle... My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man shakes his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No, I think I'll just wait for the police...."
technorati tags: joke, humor, relationship, funny, jokes
Men VS Women (no offense)
How a man withdraws cash from ATM:
1) Park the car
2) Go to ATM
3) Insert card
4) Enter PIN
5) Take money
6) Drive away
-------------------------
How a woman withdraws cash from ATM:
1) Park the car
2) Check makeup
3) Turn off engine
4) Check makeup
5) Go to ATM
6) Hunt for ATM card in the purse.
7) Insert card
8) Hit Cancel
9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it.
10) Insert card
11) Enter PIN
12) Take cash
13) Go to car
14) Check makeup
15) Start car
16) Stop car
17) Run back to ATM
18) Take ATM card
19) Back to car
20) Check makeup
21) Start car
22) Check makeup
23) Drive for ½ mile
24) Release handbrake
25) Drive on..
1) Park the car
2) Go to ATM
3) Insert card
4) Enter PIN
5) Take money
6) Drive away
-------------------------
How a woman withdraws cash from ATM:
1) Park the car
2) Check makeup
3) Turn off engine
4) Check makeup
5) Go to ATM
6) Hunt for ATM card in the purse.
7) Insert card
8) Hit Cancel
9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it.
10) Insert card
11) Enter PIN
12) Take cash
13) Go to car
14) Check makeup
15) Start car
16) Stop car
17) Run back to ATM
18) Take ATM card
19) Back to car
20) Check makeup
21) Start car
22) Check makeup
23) Drive for ½ mile
24) Release handbrake
25) Drive on..
Dreamz abt me..
The 10 Commandments of Marriage
Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven.
But then again, so is thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why a wife treats husband like toxic waste.
Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.
But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled,
"It really works!"
Marriages are made in heaven.
But then again, so is thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why a wife treats husband like toxic waste.
Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.
But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled,
"It really works!"
technorati tags: joke, jokes, funny, humor, humour
ABC of motivation
A void negative sources, people, places, things and habits.
B elieve in yourself.
C onsider things from every angle.
D on't give up and don't give in.
E njoy life today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come.
F amily and friends are hidden treasures; enjoy their riches.
G ive more than you planned to.
H ang on to your dreams.
I gnore those who try to discourage you.
J ust do it.
K eep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier.
L ove yourself first and most.
M ake it happen.
N ever lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.
O pen your eyes and see things as they really are.
P ractice makes perfect.
Q uitters never win and winners never quit.
R ead, study and learn about everything important in your life.
S top procrastinating.
T ake control of your own destiny.
U nderstand yourself in order to better understand others.
V isualize it.
W ant it more than anything.
E X cellerate your efforts.
Y ou are unique of all God's creations, nothing can replace YOU.
Z ero in on your target and go for it!
B elieve in yourself.
C onsider things from every angle.
D on't give up and don't give in.
E njoy life today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come.
F amily and friends are hidden treasures; enjoy their riches.
G ive more than you planned to.
H ang on to your dreams.
I gnore those who try to discourage you.
J ust do it.
K eep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier.
L ove yourself first and most.
M ake it happen.
N ever lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.
O pen your eyes and see things as they really are.
P ractice makes perfect.
Q uitters never win and winners never quit.
R ead, study and learn about everything important in your life.
S top procrastinating.
T ake control of your own destiny.
U nderstand yourself in order to better understand others.
V isualize it.
W ant it more than anything.
E X cellerate your efforts.
Y ou are unique of all God's creations, nothing can replace YOU.
Z ero in on your target and go for it!
How I Was Born? IT Version
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
Scroll Down
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You got Male!
technorati tags: funny, joke, adult humor
10 Signs You Love Someone
sure it’s true..!
10 signs you love someone
TEN:
You feel shy whenever they're around.
NINE:
You smile when you hear their voice.
EIGHT:
When you look at them, you can't see
the other
people around you, you just see
him/her.
SIX:
They're all you think about.
FIVE:
You realize you're always smiling when
you're
Looking at them.
FOUR:
You would do anything for them, just
to see them.
THREE:
While reading this, there was one
person on your
mind this whole time.
TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that
person, you
didnt notice number seven was missing
ONE:
You just scrolled up to check & are
now silently
laughing at yourself.
10 signs you love someone
TEN:
You feel shy whenever they're around.
NINE:
You smile when you hear their voice.
EIGHT:
When you look at them, you can't see
the other
people around you, you just see
him/her.
SIX:
They're all you think about.
FIVE:
You realize you're always smiling when
you're
Looking at them.
FOUR:
You would do anything for them, just
to see them.
THREE:
While reading this, there was one
person on your
mind this whole time.
TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that
person, you
didnt notice number seven was missing
ONE:
You just scrolled up to check & are
now silently
laughing at yourself.
technorati tags: love, relationship, funny
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