10 Signs You Really Are Old

1. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
   
2. Turn off the lights for economical reasons, not romantic ones.
   
3. You read the obituaries to find eligible women.
   
4. Old ladies offer to help you cross the street.
   
5. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
   
6. The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
   
7. A beautiful girl walks by and nothing happens.
   
8. You have all the answers but nobody is asking you the questions.
   
9. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
   
10. All the names in your little black book end with MD (mentally deficient).