01 Love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener.
02 The most effective way to remember your spouse's birthday is to forget it once.
03 Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now, I catch her in my pockets.
04 Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
05 For a lot of people, marriage is a three-ring circus. You have the engagement-ring, the wedding-ring, and the suffe-ring.
06 Married life is very frustrating!! In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
07 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
08 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
09 A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his wife, "Pack your bags. I've won the lottery!" The wife excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?" He says,
"Pack'em all, you're leaving!"
10 A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and
drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, "It really works!"
11 Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't.
12 A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it, because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
13 A true music lover is a man who puts his ear to the key hole to listen to a beautiful woman singing in the tub.
14 Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
15 NEWLYWED: Do you want dinner? SPOUSE: Sure, what are my choices? NEWLYWED: Yes and no.