“I don’t want to know!” the child said, bursting into tears.
“Promise me you won’t tell me.”
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
“Oh dad,” the boy sobbed, “when I was 6, I got the there’s no Santa speech. At 7, I got the there’s no Easter Bunny speech. When I Was 8, you hit me with the there’s no tooth fairy speech. If you tell me that grown-ups don’t really fuck, I’ll have nothing left to live for.”