How to be A Better Couple

10 steps to enjoying each other better...

1. Be realistic about each other.
Don't try to turn ur partner into something he or she is not. Let's face it, guys-there's only 1 Pamela Anderson in the world, and even she has had her implants removed! Give ur gal a break and understand that her physical appearance is NOT going to change overnite with the help of a few facials ! or treat ments. And ladies, Brad Pitt has already been taken, so u're gonna have to do with what ur guy is like! Chill out, love each other for what u are. There is more to ur partner than what meets the eye.

2. Always talk things out.
Now guys, I know this is not ur fave pastime or mode of resolving issues, but u know what? This works with the gals. Don't make assumptions about each other's feelings. Learn to xpress urself better so that ur partner undrstands what u're angry about, or hurt about, or even happy about! When u stop talking to each other from the heart, it's the beginning of the end.

3. Do stuff together.
Make an effort to do things together. Do some sports or involve urselves in some shared activities; something both of u enjoy or are interested in. It could be as simple as watching movies together, or jus strolling hand-in-hand down Orchard Road. Watch soccor with him once in a while though the green patch on TV puts u to sleep in 3 seconds. And guys, do give in if ur gal asks for another day at window-shopping, rather than suggest that she go out with her girlfriends for "that sort of activities" instead. If u're spending more time with ur friends rather than with ur partner, it's a warning sign that u're drifting apart!!!

4. Meet each other halfway.
If he agrees to throw out that rotten T-shirt with the "The_Rock" print, u shouldn't kick up much of a fuss if he asks u to keep ur room tidy. There's gotta be a little giving and taking in a relationship, so learn to meet each other halfway.

5.Show ur love
Buy her flowers or candy or perfume everynow and then, even if u have been together for 5years. It's wonderful to continue showing someone that u care for him or her. Cook him a special meal, paint him a Valentine's Day card. Knit him mini-socks he can't wear ( like for decoration purposes => ), buy him a packet of milk for breakfast, or pack his wardrobe for him...so he knows u can still be romantic and loving despite having been together for quite a while.

6. Respect each other.
Stop making jokes about her hair or skin, or whatever it is u love to laugh at. Ask urself if she thinks if its funny. And if he has an inferiority complex about his height, stop ogling at tall guys and make him feel worse! Love is about respecting each other's feelings and being sensitive to each other at all times.

7. Bury the past.
Stop bringing up the past. Gals..don't bring up the happy things about u and ur ex to ur guy, it would jus make him jealous or unhappy. And guys, don't talk about the happy times that u had with ur ex or mention about her in ur every other sentence as it would make ur gal feel un-happy and she might think that u saying all this b'cos u are gonna get back with ur ex or not interested in her anymore.

8. Sit on ur jealousy.
All of us go thru' spells of insecurity at the beginning of the relationship, but don't translate that insecurity into jealousy. If u're gonna go through ur partner's mail and cupboard, and eavesdropping on conversations, u know something is wrong - with u!!! Jealousy is like a poison that slowly spreads thru' the relationship before finally killing it. Trust ur partner; love has to have trust in it.

9. Keep ur commitments to each other.
If ur partner is standing u up all the time and cancelling dates and breaking promises, u need to talk! If u're in a relationship, make ur partner ur priority and don't disappoint them if u can help it. It's really terrible when someone promises to take u to dinner, and then calls to cancel it. Don't make promises u can't keep. If ur partner starts to feel that he/she is not important enough to u, u may jus lose him/her.

10. Be honest.
Honesty is not scowling at how awful she looks first thing in the morning, or telling him that he has the biceps of a fly~! When we say "be honest", we mean expressing ur feelings clearly, not being bitingly cruel. When u're hurt, say so, and when u're angry, tell him/her, w/o getting hysterical. If u can't be honest with ur partner, who can u be honest with? æ Love is also about honesty, and a relationship where no honesty exists probabl! y isn't worth it!

technorati tags: love,, relationship,, couple

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.



...................................................................................



I was born intelligent -
Education ruined me.



...................................................................................




Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
So why practice?



...................................................................................




If it's true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?



...................................................................................




Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.



...................................................................................




How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?



...................................................................................




Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.



...................................................................................




One should love animals.
They are so tasty.



.............................. .....................................................




Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.



...................................................................................




Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
Life.



...................................................................................




The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.



...................................................................................




Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.



...................................................................................




Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.



...................................................................................




"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep



...................................................................................




There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning



...................................................................................




"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk



...................................................................................




"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours



...................................................................................




God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.



...................................................................................




The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.




.......................................................................................



A bus station is where a bus stops.



A train station is where a train stops.



On my desk, I have a work station....
What more can I say........

A Divorce Letter

Dear Husband:


I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.

I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.

You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything.

Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together!

Have a great life!


Your EX-Wife


=============================================

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.

So when I discovered that I Had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Dear Husband:


I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.

I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.

You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything.

Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together!

Have a great life!


Your EX-Wife


=============================================

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.

So when I discovered that I Had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Dear Husband:


I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.

I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.

You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything.

Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together!

Have a great life!


Your EX-Wife


=============================================

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.

So when I discovered that I Had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

technorati tags: joke, humor, funny, relationship

Adidas Batik Limited Edition

The folks at Overkill Shop sent over some information regarding the latest release for adidas' Materials of the World project. The nation in focus this time is the archipelago nation of Indonesia. The inspiration comes from Batik-Made, beautiful fabrics with intricate details found on the island of Java. The ancient art of dying the fabric through a series of procedures makes Batik-Made a fabric of Javanese royalty and one of six high arts of Indonesia. Now, you can enjoy it too in the forms of adidas OriginalsMetro Attitude Hi, track jacket, and cap. The sneaker also comes in women's version. However, like Batik-Made, only a few can own since there are only 1000 pairs available globally.

adidas Cap - Materials of the World - Indonesia
adidas Track Jacket - Materials of the World - Indonesia
adidas Men's Metro Attitude Hi - Materials of the World - Indonesia
adidas Women's Metro Attitude Hi - Materials - Indonesia

So, what d'ya think guys?

Please note that Batik is from Indonesia ;)

Funny Elephant Questions

Statutory Warning : I am not responsible for the damage done to your mental health, your social relationships, your image among peers or your job by reading this mail. Those with blood pressure, please avoid. But never mind read only once... The effects are cumulative. :

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.

Q: Why is an elephant big, Grey, and wrinkly?
A:Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it fell asleep.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was a copy cat.

Q: Why did the fourth elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought this was all a game.

Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.

Q: What does an elephant and a blueberry have in common?
A: They're both blue, except for the elephant.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill?
A: Look, there's 1,000 elephants coming over the hill.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant?
A: First you bake a cake, and put 3 raisins on top, then you take it out in the jungle where the pink elephant will find it, and you wait. Eventually the elephant comes along, finds the cake, eats the raisins and throws the cake away. Then you go home and bake another cake and put 2 raisins on top, take it out in the jungle where the elephant will find it. The elephant comes along, finds the cake, eats the 2 raisins and throws the cake away. You go home and bake another cake and put only one raisin on it. Then you trek back into the jungle and put the cake where the pink elephant will find it. The elephant comes along eats the raisin, and throws that cake away. Now you go home and bake another cake, but (here's the sneaky part) you don't put any raisins on it. You take it out into the jungle where the elephant will find it and lie in wait. The pink elephant comes along and finds the cake, he gets SO mad that there aren't any raisins on it, he turns red, then you jump on him, strangle him until he turns blue......and you shoot him with a BLUE ELEPHANT GUN!!!

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Aw, come on, have you ever seen a yellow elephant !?!

Q: Why do elephants have red eyes?
A: So they can hide themselves better in cherry trees.

Q: Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: No? See how well the trick with the red eyes works?

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.

Q: Where does an 8 ton elephant sit?
A: Any damn place where he pleases!

Q: Why is an elephant covered in wrinkles?
A: Ever try to iron one?

Wife and Husband

1. Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for?
   Husband: Nothing.
   Wife: Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour??
   Husband: I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
2. Q - What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
   A - One Woman Brings you into this world crying... and the other ensures you continue to do so.
3. Wife: Do you want dinner?
   Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
   Wife: Yes and no.
4. Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
   Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, Ilook at your picture and the problem disappears.
   Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
   Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What otherproblem can there be greater than this one?"
5. Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
   Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
   Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
   
6. Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
   Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
   Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
7. A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?""Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU the FORTUNE"
8. Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
   Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
9. Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
   Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married
   Millionaire: "Billionaire"
10. Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever
    The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. Hahahahaha
11. A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"
    He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.
    

Intellectual Joke

Once all the scientists die and go to
heaven............ They decide
to play hide-n-seek.........Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........He is supposed to count up to 100...and then start searching.....

Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein...........

Einstein's counting
1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........

Einstein says "newton's out..newton's....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims that he is not Newton......

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton..........

Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared...... since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT...........!

technorati tags: funny, jokes, joke, humor

Link to me

Want to link with me? This is how:

1. Contact me on this page by giving a comment for a link exchange request, then I'll get to you and decide on the link exchange or not. You have to have the related web/blog as this blog ;)
2. I'll give you a link on my post, just send me a funny and interesting email to slickdusky on gmail.com with your web/blog address with subject: funny and interesting emails
   

Love Quotes

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." - Sophocles

"Attention is the most basic form of love; through it we bless and are blessed." - John Tarrant

"We love because it's the only true adventure." - Nikki Giovanni

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand.Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker

"Love is friendship set on fire." - unknown

"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing." - Goethe

"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia." - H.L. Mencken

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

"Sometimes love is stronger than a man's convictions." - Isaac Bashevis Singer

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it." - Robert Mitchum

"Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside." - Margaret Walker

"Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale... Love loves; this is its nature." - Howard Thurman

"Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end." - Anonymous

"Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other." - Rainer Maria Rilke

"Where love is, no room is too small." - Talmud

"Loves makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place." - Zora Neale Hurston

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." - Mark Twain

"Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day." - Nicholas Sparks

"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven." - Karen Sunde

"A love song is just a caress set to music." - Sigmund Romberg

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." - Peter Ustinov

"Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever." - unknown

"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." - Erich Fromm

"In the final analysis, love is the only reflection of man's worth." - Bill Wundram, Iowa Quad Cities Times

"Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile." - Elizabeth Browning

"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania."
- Dorothy Parker

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
- Woody Allen

God is Like....

A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God.
Here are some of the results: scroll down.


God is like.
BAYER ASPIRIN
He works miracles.

God is like.
a FORD
He's got a better idea.
God is like.
COKE
He's the real thing.


( This is great)

God is like.
HALLMARK CARDS
He cares enough to send His very best.

God is like.
TIDE
He gets the stain s out that others leave behind.


God is like.
GENERAL ELECTRIC
He brings good things to life.

God is like.
SEARS
He has everything.

mmGod is like.
ALKA-SELTZER
Try Him, you'll like Him

God is like.
SCOTCH TAPE
You can't see Him, but you know He's there.


God is like.
DELTA
He's ready when you are.

God is like.
ALLSTATE
You're in good hands with Him.



God is like.
VO-5 Hair Spray
He holds through all kinds of weather.


God is like.
DIAL SOAP
Aren't you glad you have Him? Don't you wish everybody did?



God is like
the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.


God is like.
Chevrolet. . .the heart beat of America



God is like
Maxwell house. . .
Good to the very last drop

God is like.
Bount y. .
He is the quicker picker upper. . can handle the tough jobs. . .and He won't fall apart on you

Colour Consciousness for Valentine’s Day

Colours propel their presence in all locales and objects that we encounter in our day-to-day activities. Colours also specify certain moods and qualities. Take a glimpse at the significance of colours and use them appropriately in your Valentine’s Day attire and gifts.


Red (Already Booked)

Red is the colour of energy, liveliness, love and sexual passion. That is why red roses, red attires and gifts wrapped in red play a dominant role on Valentine’s Day. Red communicates your passion towards your beloved or towards love itself. Maroon and brick red symbolize fun and love.



Pink/Rose (I am Freeeeeeeeeeee)

Pink is an expression of freshness, love, affection, understanding and sweetness. Pink can be the ideal choice for Valentine’s Day and will subtly help bring to surface the love for your partner. It can also add more love into your lives.



Orange (Waiting)

Orange is the colour of energy, creativity and practicality. It also denotes happiness and can pep up your moods when your spirits are low.



Yellow (Ready for a friendship)

Yellow signifies inspiration, spontaneity, communication and novelty. This colour’s liveliness and vitality encourage conversation. So communicate your feelings for your loved one near a soft yellow flamed candle. A Yellow dress for a woman will do well on Valentine’s Day.



Blue (Going 2 Propose)

Light blue symbolizes creativity, perceptivity and sensitivity. It also ushers a peaceful and a calm scenario and so is effective to smoothen or balance your emotions. Freshness is one of its properties and is suggested if you prefer a more steady and paced approach to your feelings. Dark blue signifies intelligence, self-reliance and deep feelings. A combination of blue and green can promote self-expression. Dark blue can be an ideal colour for a man for Valentine’s Day outfit.



Green (Accepted Proposal)

Green suggests humanism, benevolence, observance and caution. Though a bit cautious in every approach in life and relationships, it induces understanding which is one of the most important requirements in one’s relationship. Dark green shirt for a man and lighter shades of green for women’s outfit will make good Valentine’s Day attires



Purple(Not interested)

Purple denotes intuition. Intuitions play a major role in romance. This in turn can induce passion. Grapes are always oriented with love and wine is always a chosen gift for the loved one during Valentine’s Day. Purple is purely feminine and a light purple or a mauve outfit for a woman will generate cuteness on Valentine’s Day.



White (Leave me alone)

White is a colour of purity, optimism and innocence. It consists of all the colours in the spectrum. White roses given to your beloved can mean ‘ You are celestial’ or ‘our love is pure’. They can be employed denoting the impeccable love that has stood the test of time and trials. Both men and women can choose a white outfit for the Valentine’s Day.



Grey (Broke up)

Grey denotes good judgment capabilities and also non-involvement. So it may not be the right colour to be chosen for Valentine’s Day dress or a setting. Though a beautiful shade on its own, it does not bring in the freshness desired for Valentine’s Day when worn by a woman. However a grey outfit for man can look fine.



Black / Brown (Proposal rejected)

Black and Brown can both be incorporated in a man’s Valentine’s Day attire individually. Black denotes independence, authority and boldness while brown stands for honesty and a down to earth attitude towards life. Women can opt for more feminine and pastel shades for Valentine’s Day.
So choose your outfits and gifts with the appropriate colours on this Valentine’s Day!!!!

Behind Microsoft Bid On Yahoo

Ten days later, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer was reading the CIO Magazine, and read about this interesting thing called PHP, that according to the author you could use to write "WHAT?!". "WHAT?!", obviously a highly advanced and evolved version of "Hello World", caught his attention. So he called Bill Gates.

Steve: "Hey, you heard about this PHP thing?"
Bill: "Pee Age Pee? You're not that old yet, are you?"
Steve: "What? No, wait, it's a programming language, apparently better than ASP.NET."
Bill: "Who cares if it's better. I mean; we made the worst operating systems ever and still rule. (Checked out Leopard yet? It is SO cool.)"
Steve: "I don't know Bill... remember that internet thing that we didn't know about years ago? Kind of nearly missed the boat there."
Bill: "Right. Didn't we solve that in the same way? Worst browser, highest market share, that sort of thing?"
Steve: "Yes we did, but then we also didn't know about this 'mp3' thing until it was too late."
Bill: "We did manage to make Zune the worst player, but somehow we're not market leader. Guess we got sloppy?"
Steve: "Maybe it's just different times. Maybe we should have a different strategy."
Bill: "Ok, so let's just buy PHP then."
Steve: "It's not a company. But Encarta says it's written by a Rasmus Lerdorf."
Bill: "So let's hire him."
Steve: "Tried that. Didn't want to join. Can't blame him, works at Yahoo."
Bill: "Then I guess we'll have to buy Yahoo."



So it happened.

Two of the most controversial announcements of this month, and both appear to be part of devious plots to take over the LAMP stack. What's next? My prediction: Red-Hat buys Zend; Oracle buys Red-Hat; Sun and IBM join forces to buy Oracle, Microsoft buys Sun, kills IBM and peace is restored in the galaxy.

P.S. Can you imagine Microsoft running sites like Flickr? These guys invented MS Paint!

Behind Sun Microsystem Buy MySQL

So one day, Scott McNealy, founder and chairman of Sun, read in his morning newspaper how the use of Java was rapidly diminishing, courtesy of something called 'The LAMP Stack'. Furiously, he called his accountant.


Scott: "I knew this Java thing was a bad idea in the first place! I see only one solution. We need to buy this Lamp!"
Accountant: "Euh, LAMP is not a company. It's an acronym. It's Linux , Apache, MySQL and PHP"
Scott: "Then buy me Linux!"
Accountant: "But we still have this Solaris thing.."
Scott: "Then buy me Apache!"
Accountant: "That's a foundation. Nothing to buy there."
Scott: "Then buy me MySQL!"

Accountant: "We don't do databases."
Scott: "It's a database?"
Accountant: "What rock have you been living under?"
Scott: "Sweet. I can own the Lamp AND piss off Oracle at the same time!" (waves fake plastic magic wand) "Make it so!"



And so it happened.